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16 Jan 2004

Am I just jealous, I'm confused!
I've got this strange feeling that all is not well between me & my husband. Several things happened:1. He & a friend went out a couple of times, coming back at 5 in the morning. Afterwards his friend spoke about their "outing" to a strip-club. I don't mind, but why did he lie about it. 2. At his other friend's party, he insisted on me sitting in the lounge while he was "Dirty Dancing" (really) with a single girl from his work. 3. He tries to convince me to dress like this girl, talk like her etc... . 4. He only talks / touch me when he wants to have sex with me. He never answers me when I talk to him, he never listen to anything I say. I started to become very quiet, he doesn't even realizes this!
We went to the South Coast for a week, he was the person that a fell in love with. We're back now about 2 weeks, and it's back to ignoring, irritated, etc.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Jackie,
Of course none of us can answer these questions, except your husband, with whom you need to discuss these matters. Why did he not tell you about going to a strip-club ? Probably because he didn't want to upset you ( we very often upset people by our efforts not to upset them ). The act that while on holiday he was again like the man you originalyl fell in love with shows that that aspect of your relationship is still reachable and open to revisiting. Why not, as is my usual reasonable suggestion, consider marriage counselling to better understand what sems to have been going adrift between the two of you, and see how much you can heal and strengthen this relationship ?
He sounds imature, and too concntrated on showing off to and looking good in front of, his friends, and lacking in the self-confidence to just be himself and with you alone.
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