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05 Jul 2005

Am I mad or just insensitive
I was married for 6 years and just recently got divorced. The marriage was not a happy one and fortunately there was no kids involved. Now I am at the stage where I have decided that I want a baby and this would complete my life. I am fortunate that I have everything I want materially and would like to have a baby. The only problem is that I would like to have the baby but not the man! My best friend and I discussed this issue and I asked him to donate his sperm so that I can fall pregnant. However the one problem is that I want him to sign a contract at an attorney agreeing that if I should fall him pregnant he gives up all paternal rights. Initially he was fine with this but his changed his mind because he says that everyman would want to be a part - even if it is a small one - in their childs life. Because I was hurt so badly by my ex husband I dont want to be in another relationship ever again, hence the reason for the request. My friend says that no man will ever agree to terms as strict as mine. Am I being insensitive if I say I want a child all to myself and I dont want a man to part of our lives?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It's not a question of YOu having a long-term relationship with another man, but the child --- because you have been hurt in one mariage, is it fair to refuse to allow your child the possibility of long-term contact with the child's biological father ? Would you want your child to be fathered by a man who cared so little for the child as to accept the terms of the contract you propose ? And have you thought through, not only whether you want a baby, but whether you want a CHILD -- at school, adolescent, and adult ? it's a package deal !
Your message. as it deals solely with what you want, and not what anyone else, including the child, might want, does indeed sound selfish and self-absorbed.
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