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18 Jul 2005

Am I normal?
I have wondered for years if I was completely normal, so I hope you can tell me? When I was 6 yrs old, the neighbour's 14 yr old twin sons used to baby sit me and my siblings from time to time, when his and my parents went out. We then went over there to watch T.V. the one twin always sought me to lie on the couch next to him with a blanket over us. Then he would play with my vagina and rub my clit. The first time he just ran his finger along the lips of my vagina until our parents returned. The next time, he rubbed my clit. The third time he had his finger inside and played with me. It never bothered me, in fact, I started to enjoy it and look forward to it! I didn't encourage it, but I didn't resist either. He used to play with me until our parents returned, which was for easily 2 hours. When I was 7 yrs old, I started to climax every time he played with me.
When I was about 10 years old and I battled with a subject, he offered to help me after school where he took me to the garage where it was private. There was a blanket ready. He blind folded me, stripped me naked and licked my vagina for easily an hour. He stuck his tongue in and out until I climaxed. Then he rubbed my clit and fingered me for hours, until I climaxed about 5 times in one day. I loved it and looked forward to it!
Maybe it never affected me, because strangely he never asked me to do anything to him and he never penetrated me either. I never even saw him naked. I held his penis in my hand once, when he wanted to show me how an erection feels. What he did do when I was 13, was to explain to me how to give oral sex to a man, but never expected me to do it to him. Then we moved away when I was 14 years old. The day before we left, he called me to say goodbye to him. He kissed my body from top to toe and used a vibrator to make me climax over and over. Then he dressed me and told me he would never forget me.
I suppose he just got a huge kick out of making me climax, I don't know. But, up to this day, I enjoy sex very much. My husband and I have sex every night, except for when I menstruate; sometimes even twice a night. I never slept around as a result and have never believed in casual sex.
I was scared that if I had a child, I would get the urge to do the same to my child, but the thought doesn't cross my mind at all and I wouldn't even consider it.
I don't even see what happened to me as a violation and that made me wonder for years, whether I'm normal or not? I'm 34 years old now.
Doctor, I am not interested in the opinion of others, I just want to know if I'm normal, seeing that it never gave me nightmares or had a negative effect on me?
Answer 789 views

01 Jan 0001

You sound normal enough, and from your story, you responded normally to the grubby neighbour boy who molested you, fortunately without damaging you. I see no reason to expect that you would have any such ideas concerning your own children or any other cvhildren. While abuse of children is of course to be strongly discouraged, evidence shows that quite often, especially when it occurs relativelty gently and with someone near your own age, it is not necessarily harmful, and may even feel,enjoyable --- and you should not feel guilty for having to some extent enjoyed it. Nightmares and negative effects are fortunately uncommon, though possible consequences.
So, continue to enjoy being normal.
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