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02 Jan 2008

Am I selfish
My eldest sister got married immediately after school. My father begged her not to get married due to her being pressured into it. They were not even married for a year when they split. There were no children out of this marriage. Before she even got divorced she got involved with another man. They were engaged for 10 years. She left him after that period of time. Luckily there were not children. Immediately she got involved with a 3rd man. They got married after only a few months. 10 months later her baby was born. After being married for almost 2 years they got divorced. I begged her not to get involved with another man and just to take some time for herself. I feel that she thinks she can not live without a man in her life. Am I wrong? Now she got involved with someone else. This was even before her divorce was finalized. She is staying with me, as is my parents and other sister. Her baby is now 20 months old. I am really concerned. Every second Sunday she will go away for the whole day leaving me with the baby to look after. In the evenings when she comes home she does not look after him. She will talk on the phone for hours. Once again leaving us to tend to the baby and the other day functions. I am getting very concerned because the baby is now calling me and my other sister “Mommy”. And he never cries about her. He is not even happy to see her. However when I or my other sister want to drive away he will scream and cry. This does not seem to be healthy. What can I do to get her to wake up before it is too late?
Answer 399 views

01 Jan 0001

OK< it does indeed sound as though she lacks relationship skills and foresight, and is getting herself into repeated problems --- but that is her problem, as an independent adult, and not yours. And if she chooses to stay with you, in your home, she should be considerate and keep to your house-rules. She should not, as a mother, waltz off leaving you literally holding the baby. And she shouldn't make any but emergency calls on your phone and at your expense --- she can get her own cellphone and pay for it herself, or forego the calls altogether. It sounds as though she is not bothering to mother her own child, and that is irresponsible. Maybe the child welfare authorities could advise you and help ?
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