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17 Jul 2008

am i selfish?
Okay,so i normally prefer to keep my anger, my sadness, my hurt and my feelings to my self. Because i dont want to hurt anyones feelingsby making them feel bad even though they did something wrong to me. The other day i completely lost it with my mum. I asked her a couple of week ago why i am always expected to let everyone else have there way and understand. She said because they know that its because i always understand. So does that mean that i should be overlooked??? Okay...and a month ago my sister told me she cant afford to have me stay at her house, even though i know she makes a lot of money. I had wanted to relocate and better my life by finding a better paying job. (i relocated with my boyfriend and now stay on my own,and found a good job within 2weeks)I was extremely hurt by my sister. We grew up with very little, and i never thought money would change a person like that. I have good life with my boyfriend and puppy, and a very nice aprtment. So i am not bitter, neither have i everbeen. I dont want her to be a part of my life, but for the sake of my family not falling apart i went to visit her when i relocated. My mum came visit joburg for a month because my sister is pregnant. I saw my mum when i fetched her at the airport, and then again when i went to see the baby when he was born. Im angry and hurt that my mum hast spent any ime with me. When i fetched my mum at the airport my sister insisted she come stay at her house and there was sulking and stuff about it so i dropped my mum at her house the next day. I was not working at the time and i wanted my mum to stay with me a bit untill i started my new job in a few days. Now she just had a baby and i got invited to the babynaming 30minutes before the ceremony. I was so hurt. I felt like i wasnt a part of the family. I guess they thought that i would understand. So when my mum called i blew up. Im hurt, confused and i cant understand why i get overlooked and am expected to understand why. Then there is my boyfrind who bought his mum a R1000 watch, even though he had told me for months that he cant afford to buy me an ngagement ring. (i dont expect something expensive). He has already asked meto marry him. SO the day i lost it with my mum it all came spilling out and i feel aweful. I feelbad for letting my feelings be made knowntomy mum and my boyfriend. So you tell i selfish????
Answer 483 views

01 Jan 0001

Truly selfish people never ask that question.
I know how this happens --- you're expected to always understand and to be the last person they think of ; and so, because you're always asumed to be "understanding", the legend continues. Odd, isn't it, how families tend to vote people into certain roles ? One is the Strong one who handles everyone else's crises ; one is the designated victim we're supposed to fel sorry for, and so on. Now don't feel bad for having been eventually goaded into expressing your feelings to your mom rather than always suppressing these. She needed to know, and to think about it. Maybe even go so far as to see a counsellor ( or at least get some self-help books ) about being assertive, and ecognize the difference between Assertive ( Good Thing ) and Aggressive ( Bad Thing ).

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