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Question
31 Jul 2008
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am i wrong
i am confused a bit, i have a friend that i dearly love and would not wish to lose for anything....she is very one fun lady and has in many occassions helped me a lot, but today there was a misunderstanding between us, she phoned me regarding work related issues...while i was with my BOSS...i said to her knowing that my boss was leaving and i needed him to sign my submissions before he leaves, i said " i will return your call later but somehow she kept asking a question and insisted that it was a minor issue and my BOSS left and i am left with unsigned urgent sibmissions.
i phoned to say to her i am not happy with her not respecting my reqeust to call her later " in the presence of my boss" as that reflect a disrespectful attitude. She said she will never call me again regarding work related issues and she is sorry to have called,
i dont mind her calling and asking for help , is just that i am worried that i have requested and highlighted the imortance of speaking to my boss before he leaves and for some reason, she thinks i dont want to help her,
i feel guilty though, after i tried to explain that to her, it went from bad to worse, i know there are a lot of people who would love to see us fight.
i feel maybe i should not have said anything , hence i also feel i was right to try and express my concern
i phoned to say to her i am not happy with her not respecting my reqeust to call her later " in the presence of my boss" as that reflect a disrespectful attitude. She said she will never call me again regarding work related issues and she is sorry to have called,
i dont mind her calling and asking for help , is just that i am worried that i have requested and highlighted the imortance of speaking to my boss before he leaves and for some reason, she thinks i dont want to help her,
i feel guilty though, after i tried to explain that to her, it went from bad to worse, i know there are a lot of people who would love to see us fight.
i feel maybe i should not have said anything , hence i also feel i was right to try and express my concern
CyberShrink
It was surely unthinking on her part, but selfish --- it's one thing to expect a good friend to be helpful, but another to expect them to drop everything they're doing to IMMEDIATELY attend to your fairly minor concern. You asked her to call later, and told her you were with your boss --- if she wasn't somewhat obsessed with herself, she would have recognized the situation and simply called you later. She's probably in part offended because she realizes that she was, indeed, thoughtless and inconsiderate. She ought to recognize what you're saying --- that you didn't refuse to help, nor ask her not to call, but simply and very reasonably asked her to be considerate of times when you have urgent work to do with your boss. YOu were perfectly right both to warn her at the time, and to politely express your concern. She's being over-sensitive. Give her time to cool off and think about this.
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