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21 Jan 2004

ANGER MANAGEMENT
My son often have fits of anger and rage. He already threatened to kill me or whished for me to die. He is 24 and I am very concerned that he will harm me or his girlfriend. I have seen him pushing her but he is always sorry later and promisses never to hit her. How do I look for help before it is to late. I have already suggested he sees a thearapist but he refuses.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Honey,
The basic problem, usually, with someone like this who causes severe problems and concerns to other people and couldn't care about it himself, is that it's impossible to help them unless the agre and sincerely participate in proper expert help. Any psychiatrist or good clinical psychologist ought to be able to be of some help to your son, if he agrees that he has a problem and truly wants to get rid of the problem. But that sounds unlikely.
Until something or someone else convinces him that this is the only good alternative for him, you need to take steps to protect yourself and to discourage him from being violent. A lawyer can advise, that it is possible to obtain a court order forbiding him to harass or threaten you, and he would go to jail if he broke such a court order. Threatening to kill someone is a crime, so you can also make a formal complaint about it to the police, so that his threats are on record, and they can visit him and make it clear that they'll be back if he does get physically violent. Abusers usually claim to feel soprry ( but thyey're never sorry enough to stop doing it again, and again ).
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