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20 Nov 2005

angry
I'm 20 and still living at home with my mom and sister. About 8 months ago my mothers partner of 9 years lost his temper. He hit my mom and threatned and pushed me. The very next day he came back and my mom welcomed him with open arms. He didnt even bother trying to appologise to me for what he did and said. (he doesn't live with us). it's now 8 months later and still nothing. What pisses me off the most is that my mother doesnt seem to be affected or worried about this. she hasn't made him him appologise. This situation has gotten to a point that whenever he comes around, I feel like bursting into tears because of the anger that I feel. Am I just being over sensitive or is this anger justified? It just seems to me that as long as they are happy together then her whole world is complete. Please help me. I'm totally losing my mind. there is no where else i can live.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It's obviously wrong for anyone to abuse another person. But you seem to be describing a single incident, in the course of an argument, not repeated over 8 months. Expecting an apology is understandbale, but not necessarily realistic. Have you discussed this incident and your feelings about it, with your mom ? And let her know that you feel that she ignored your feelings for the sake of pleasing him, and that this is hurtful to you.
But also, remaining so angry about it is not helping you and not improving the situation.
Lois_Lane is right about the most useful way to phrase your concerns --- not to imply that he hurt you, which he may deny, but to speak of how what he did made you feel --- you're the world expert in how you feel.
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