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01 Jul 2005

Angry about affair
Just to recap - I was having an affair and i broke it off. Now my emotions are getting me down because i am actually angry at myself for having this affair. Im angry at him and im angry with myself. What was i thinking? Surely i should have seen it would never work? Now when i think of him i actually think very little of him for cheating on his wife behind her back. He thinks he's so cool but how cool can you be when you behave like that? Doesn't matter if they live separate lives or if they are unhappy - the fact remains is that he cheated on her (and i feel worse 'cos i was part of that cheating). I feel really bad that i was part of this affair and sometimes i think i would like her to know what happened. If i had a husband and he cheated, i would want someone to tell me. I cannot believe how foolish i was.
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CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Right --- he wasn't cool at all, but cold, which is much worse. But the anger isn't being especially useful at present, from the sound of it. Forgive yourself and move on, don't let yourself get caught up in bonds of anger with him. Check the archive for my earlier discussion of the Tar baby Syndrome. The comments from SR etc make a lot of good sense. Let the arroganu little punk live without any butter !
And for you and Ama --- yes, break all ties and allow no contact whatsoever with him. Treat this also like an adiction. When you start thinking about him again, slap yourslf on the wrist and dash off to do something else. Dont just oncentrate on how foolish you were, but on how wise you'll be from now on !
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