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22 Jan 2004

Angry if i dont get my way
I have this huge problem which i have tried sorting out myself but i think its gotten out of control. When my husband doesnt want to do things that i want i get upset. I will then relax and try calm down and not say anything to him. All of a sudden there are a million and one things going through my head and how angry i am feeling at that momet, (for instance if he doesnt want to have sex or something..) And then all of a sudden i will just start screaming at him and calling him names. Then we will go to bed angry and i will feel bad the next day and apologise. I hate doing this, how can i deal with it in a different way? I love him and i do not want to lose him. He is very caring and loving and i hate what i do to him. Its almost as if its not me or as if i change into a different person when we argue. I also need advice on how to support him in all that he does(work etc). He says i never do but the thing is i hate his work as he constantly has to work late and is always on call and everything he does is work. Please help me to deal with this.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Trace,
Sounds a bit immature, doesn't it ? Doesn't sound like a particularly effective technique for persuading someone to do what you want them to, and especially bad at encouraging someone to get into the mood for sex. Sounds like you are wanting, and demanding, a great deal of attention, maybe even an unrealistic amount, considering the demands of his job. A counselor can help you revise your techniques, and to better understand why you are so demanding, and why you expect him to always do what you want ( are you happy to always do everything he wants ? If not, why should he feel diferently ? ).
It doesn't sound as if you need specific advice on "how to support him in all that he does (work etc )" --- its generally perfectly obvious HOW to do it ; it sounds more as if your problem is that you don't really want to do it ?
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