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03 Aug 2008

Another Mess
Hi Doc

Thanks for the advise, but perhaps you can advise on this one two because they have become linked. Two seasons ago I asked my wife if you would object to me employing a young girl, 25 to assist me in my profession. She then said she didnt object on the condition she attended the interview and met her. Well again I went ahead and made my own decisions, employed the girl without adhering to my wifes conditions. When she arrived, I asked her to join our family function and that night my wife had a major blow up, went balistic and theatend to leave but we managed to work it out. They get along just fine and have become like mother and daughter. Then I had the December blow up, the not enough sex thing. But still the new season my wife did not object to my young girl coming to help again. What makes me mad is that when Im late of something I tend to feel that I am being interogated by my wife about what and why Im late after being with the girl. As I said she says she doesnt have a problem with the girl, when the two of them get P' d off, they seem to sort thing out. The young girl is a little familiar, as she uses my wifes stuff, lives in our house occasssionally, but as I said when they have hassles they sort them out. What can I do to make my life right. I need the young girl again next season and my wife doesnt object, if anything she recognises her ability and they know where they stand with each other.

I hate confrontation but I know now that my December mess up has really done DAMAGE
Answer 408 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Confrontation is oh so over-rated. Again, why not marriage counselling, if you don't feel confident of negotiating this peacefully and constructively between you ? And I agree that it sounds as though the girl is taking liberties, and taking advantage of the situation --- isn't there someone else who could help you in your work ? Maybe even a young man ?
And, just a thought, if you had hired a young man, and he behaved as this girl has, would you be entirely happy about it ?
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