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13 Jul 2008

Are women turned off by intelligence?
Hi,

This is a burning question of mine. Just some thoughts while I have a bit of time.

I consider myself observant when it comes to my group of friends... I tend to see things that are happening around me, able to read between the lines etc.

I'm also quite an intelligent guy (I have an honours degree). Yet, when it comes to the women I meet, they tend to favour the more, how should I put it, the guys with a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

I'm not the type to go on about what I do, i'm more reserved in that aspect (in relation to my achievements academically). I tend more to joke around and be clown than be the serious type I am between 9 - 5.

But what bugs me most, is that I have a few friends in my group, they have g/f's ... but they treat these girls so badly, but yet, they keep running back for more.

I have just come out of a relationship (she wasn't the one and well... when looking back, she was a horrible person and didnt deserve me (quoting my friends here).

Anyway, now that i'm keeping an eye out for a special lady, the ones that I meet, I usually meet when i'm around my friends, they always seem to be more interested in the guys that have no real job in life... they work for their father, dropped out of school or whatever, but none of them are professionals (i.e university education).

My problem is, when I get chatting to a girl, you know the usual... what do you do etc... as soon as I mention accountant (it's like im outta here).

Do I need to dumb myself down or what? I have already, people don't really believe that I am an accountant (i'm unassuming).

Is it better for me to be the overall proverbial nice guy, or just be a complete a**hole towards women and treat them like dirt? From what I can see, the latter is the better option... what was the saying, treat em mean, keep em clean.

My other problem, am I being to picky when it comes to women? I have 4 criteria (i'm open to suggestion). They are:

1) Personality - hold a conversation
2) Intelligent - not dumb as pig s**t
3) Dresses decently - a matching wardrobe
4) Remotely decent looking

Seriously, is that like a lot to ask?

Anyway, these are just some random thoughts


Answer 425 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Interesting observations and thoughts, W. Maybe the women who favour the lads who are short of a few sandwiches, either like making sandwiches or don't like picnics.
Interesting point, too, about the degree of prejudice against accountants. I must confess that at parties, finding that admitting to be a doctor or psychiatrist too often led to complex and unwelcome discussions, I found that claiming to be an accountant usually ended tedious conversations.
You seem to see the choice between deliberate allowing yourself to be the Nice Guy you apparently naturally are, or a macho boor, as entirely about attracting women. Wouldn't you find it more pleasant for yourself, to live as a nice guy ? And as genuine rather than phoney ? WOuld the sort of woman who bought your phoney macho act really be someone you'd like to be with ?
Remember that when meeting others, they're usually much more impressed if you seem interested in them, rather than in any particular aspects of your own story. No need to dumb yourself down -- again, people tend to appreciate you more if you seem to respect their intelligence, whatever it may be
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