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22 Jan 2004

At my wits end
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over four years now. We have a adorable 3 year old daughter. My problem is that scince we have been together he has not made an effort to go and work. I have been supporting him all this time. My father has been helping me financially with my little girl.

After I had my baby, my boyfriend started sleeping out every weekend. i had my suspisions, but couldn't prove anything. At this point i went into depression. This sleeping out carried on for four months and eventually it stoped.

A year later I did some investigating and found out that he an other gilrfriend. When I confronted him, he admitted to this and made a whole lota promises that he would not do this again, but the trust had already been destroyed.

For two years now I have been with him but I do not feel the same. He continues to tell me that he loves me and our child and he wants to make a better life for us, but he is still not delivering the goods.

I am now finally fed up with all these lies and empty promises, i feel that i must take care of my self and my daughter and cut him out. I still live with my folks and so does he. They moan at me all the time about his laziness and his bad habits. Is the decision to tell him to leave a good one, because my child is living a very unstable, unsecured life and i see that it is affecting her. What advice do you have for me?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Jojo,
I understand your frustration --- isn't it high time that his bum receives an ultimatim, and a set of rules ? If he is to temporarily continue to sponge off your parents ( did his own parents turf him out long ago ? ) ten he can't be allowed to be lazy --- he must do housework and other chores to contribute to the home, and must actively and convincingly seek work --- even several part-time jobs, however menial, will get him back into the habit of working. You owe him nothing for having impregnated you --- there's usually no charge for that service.
I fully agree with Soul, surely he needs to either shape up or ship out ?
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