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18 Jul 2005

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Hi Doc
I really hope you can help! My husband and I have been married for 5 years, but we have been together for 10 years now. We have a very good, stable and secure Christian relationship. He is a wonderful husband. Loyal, hardworking, helps around the house, etc. My problem is that I feel neglected. I feel like old news. No, I really don't think he is having an affair. We both have a hectic schedule and still exercise. After all our daily chores and exercising, there isn't much time left to be together. I sometimes feel that he has lost interest. As if I am just not good enough anymore. His interest comes before me. Whenever he has extra time, like on a Saturday afternoon, he will go and cycle with some friends, instead of even thinking of spending the extra time with me. It feels like we are loosing touch with one another. We are a great couple and I really am sure that he does love me, but whether that is enough, I don't know? I need the passion. I need the compliments and cuddles, the holding hands, the flirting, the attention. What can I do to get this back? Or does it mean that we have moved into another phase of our relationship? If I feel like this now, how is it going to be after 30 years of marriage? I have discussed all of this with my husband, but I don't think he really understands. I am really looking forward to hearing from you.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Have you thought of luring him into marriage counselling, to work towards defining a pleasanter and more satisfactory new phase in this relationship ? And as Buzz suggests, why not jointly set aside a few hours each week, and a weekend every month, when the two of you will do something TOGETHER, simple or elaborate, which you can both enjoy ? And yes, try lighting a series of relationship sparks, and see if he can still remember how to respond to them !
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