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20 Oct 2009

avoidant personality?
I am a 26 year old female. I work full time and study part time. I have not been in a romantic relationship with a guy for about 5 years and even that relationship was not very good. I have gone on dates every once and a while and have met some nice men but the problem is that I just never feel anything for them so I dont persue any further relationship. My sister says I should give them more of a chance which I believe I do becuase I usually go on about 3 dates or so with them before I give it up. I just dont seem to feel anything, I am numb inside and the worst part is all I keep on doing while I am sitting there with them is thinking about all the things that are wrong with me physically and otherwise to the point that it drives me crazy. I dont want to be alone but I just dont know what to do its gotten to the point were even my parents are starting to comment and I dread family functions because its all anyone ever talks to me about which needless to say does not make me feel any better about myself. I am confident at work and do really well in the academic part of my life but this part of my life scares me because I want to be able to feel some sort of emotion for someone else. I read recently about avoidant personality disorder which sounds similar to what I experience. Is there something wrong with me? Should I be seeing someone about it? I appreciate any advice thanks.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like you may have primary problems in self-image and self-esteem, ( reflected in your choice of e-mail address, not shown in the public forum) and this will interfere with your relationships. If you don't like you, it will be harder for others to like you, and you may sabotage new relationships, feelign that you really don't deserve for them to work.
It's not so much that there's something awful wrong with you, but you're not functioning as well as you could be. And therapy / Counselling could help a lot, preferably from a realistic Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy CBT therapist. Why not see a good local psychologist for a full assessment. Unless there's a major degree of depression present as well, you would probably be much better helped by therapy than medications
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