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06 Aug 2008

behaviour shocks
Hi CS.

A while back I found out my underage little sister was sleeping with her older boyfriend. My husband called her boyfriend and asked him what he was planning with my sister as she was too young to marry or even to get engaged, he responded by saying that nobody said anything about getting married.

My husband then asked him to please get away from my sister as we would take him to court for statutory rape. To make a long story short-he did leave and my sister phoned us to tell us that she hated us and didn' t consider us family anymore and hasnt spoken to us since.(we stay in jhb they in kzn)

My mother only put her on the pill when she found out and didn' t try and stop what was happening.(My father passed away).
My other sister has now asked me to apologize to my little sister for " ruining her life" . I dont feel that I should though as I am trying to be a authority figure in her life and if I apologize I will only contradict myself. My husband suggests that I just leave them all to be but it bothers me that they just do what they want not worrying about what it will do to their future(what if she falls pregnant). Am I wrong???
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Your other sister is being wildly irresponsible. By stopping child molestation and statutory rape, you and your father did the right thing --- and it did not in any way "ruin" the life of the abused child, however foolishly she may have enjoyed the rape. You certainly should not apologise for being right and responsible. It sounds as though your two sisters think nothing other than sex matters in life, and will probably have their lives shortened by AIDS. If they are of age, there is no way you can make them become sensible. Your mom was partly sensible in arranging for contraception, but iresponsible to turn a blind eye to statutory rape. If the younger sister is legally of age, nobody can compel her to do anything she doesn't want to. I like Maria's idea of life skills classes, but it wounds as though the little madam is convinced that she has the only skill she'll ever need
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