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27 Jul 2005

Being pushed and pulled - which way to turn?
I am currently overwhelmed. I am about to enter a new stage in my life and I have no idea which way to turn. My decisions now will make/break my future and I am in complete conflict at the moment. All the pushing and pulling has caused me to be lost - to the point that I don't even know what I want anymore!

I will have my postgrad at the end of the year and EVERYONE is pushing me and pulling me to the point that I want to run. I feel like I am being dictated to and I do not know if there are alterior motives or if people are being genuine.

I have huge ideas for my future. I imagined myself breaking free and exploiting many of the opportunities that have presented themselves to me. My plan was to start a business - now I feel stuck because the person I was planning on doing this with is banking on me!

The biggest conflict is that my father wants me to enter into the family business. I will never leave the business if I begin there (family loyalty) and I fear regret for not having experienced more. He has "plans" for me and he is really dangling the carrot - almost offering me a job that I could not say NO to. He tells me every day how talented I am and how it would be a gift to have me in the business.

Am I being a spoilt brat for not jumping at the opportunity? My father has been building his business so that he could give us something - something that he never had.

Please help me - all the other advice has made me feel more conflicted!
Answer 398 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello Tiny,
Bigs suggestion makes a lot of sense. Maybe a counsellor could help you, more objectively, in a few sessions, to compare and contrast the alternatives, weigh up the pros and cons, and make a decision with the maximum going for it. Can your father consider backing you in your own business plans, for a defined period of a couple of years, and then either continue to back you if it is succeeding, or welcome yo into the family business with added experience, then ?
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