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12 Jul 2005

HI CS, getting closer to prelims yet it seems as if Im calming down with all my extreme behaviour becasue Im realising these prelims are something I just have to do in order to carry on with my life. Ive been managing more with stuff and conquering scary thoughts in my mind after taking your advice of panicking for three minutes at a time... that was brilliant.. best thing that any shrink could have every adviced. Im gonna suggest that to Melissa (counsellor) to tell that to other troubled kids who can't cope with their situations, when I see her later.

As for the cutting, I only did a small one once in my assigned 3 minute space but it has been an improvement on before... and NO drinking in these last two days because I cant fail Biology, theres too much to learn. I realised I can go without a drink, it is possible, its all in my head. The only thing thats extremely tough in exam times, because of boredom is controlling my bulimia. The binging and prurging is OUT OF HAND, I am vomiting about 10-15 times a day because I need to eat to keep the boredom away when I study and my body just seems to reject food cos I swing from anorexia and bulimia. This is leaving me extremely weak and consumes about half my day when I need to be studying, its the meanest addiction, its not as easy as u think to just stop it. I crave the binges.. especially while studying, how do I cut down on this.
Answer 389 views

01 Jan 0001

Hi kylee,
Pleased to hear that you're coping better, and that my advice has been of some use. I like the idea of setting aside the 3 minute panic ! It saves wasting time on amateur panics through the rest of the day, and leaves one with the chance to have a really good panic all at once, and get it over with.
It can help with the boredom, ( apart from maybe setting aside a diferent 3 minutes a day in which to do all one's boredom ? ) to work on making simple charts of all the stuff that needs to get done before an exam, broken down into bite-sized chunks, so one can tick off, every few minutes, anothe rpart of the task successfully completed --- it helps one to maintain a better sense of progress. If you feel the need to nibble to keep focussed on your study, choose healthier stuff ( the olf carot and celery sticks trick ) to nibble on, rather than fatty stuff --- if you choose the right sorts of good stuff, you can nibble away without any need to vomit it up again. And if you choose more wisely nutritious stuff for meals and snacks, your body and brain will grow stronger instead of weaker.
Sometimes some suitable background music helps to keep one focussed and not bored --- it must be pleasant enough not to annoy you, but not interesting enough that you'd stop studying to listen to it.
And recogniz that learning to learn ( the best reason for learning the often otherwise uselss stuff they give to us in school ) i useful in itself, and a good background and skill for a future writer. With your attitudes, you could become a skilled writer, so keep working methodically towards it.
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