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28 Jul 2008

Bipolar, Pregnant and Losing it?
I need some advise here, as i honestly think that i may be losing it.

I am 29wk pregnant with first child, bipolar (not on meds since 7 months before falling pregnant) although my shrink has wanted to put me on abilify and lithium when i saw him about a month ago. i did research and found out that the lithium can cause floppy baby syndrome and since i have been off all my meds because that is what is best for my child, i decided not to go on it as it would not be good for him.

For the last while i have been having depressive symptoms, not sleeping, then sleeping too much etc. But for the past couple of weeks i have had symptoms that i havent even wanted to acknowledge - from wanting my baby and praying and crying over this child that i was so happy about, now for the past couple of weeks i dont want anything to do with him and the thought that he is going to be around kind of freaks me out. How can you explain that a person doesnt want their own child? i dont wish my child harm in anyway, but i just dont want him.

I dont want to talk about him, to choose a name, to decorate his nursery etc. everyone around me is getting so excited and i feel as if i just dont care. i tried to explain this to my husband (this baby was planned and is/was very much wanted by us both) but he says i am just nervous about everything and once our child is born i will feel differently. i dont know.

I have also been having dreams where i jump off a bridge, it used to be once my baby was born and i could see him in the carseat next to me, alll strapped in and sleeping but now when i just i am still pregnant. i dont think i am suicidal when i am awake but what would the dreams then mean?

I feel so tired all the time, i feel like i am in this deep dark hole and i just cant escape. i went to a diff shrink for a second opinion before i fell pregnant and she told me it wasnt a good idea and i would probably end up killing myself or my child or both before the 9 months was up. Either that or i would reject my child.

Is that what i am doing? am i actually rejecting my child? this innocent baby who has done nothing wrong? what kind of a person does that???? i just dont understand - i was so excited aobut being pregnant and having a family and now i can hardly get the energy to get out of bed in the morning...

What' s going on with me?

Answer 375 views

01 Jan 0001

I would ALWAYS recommend starting CBT therapy as soon as possible when pregnancy is in the opffing, in someone with Depressions or Bipola Disorder, as it is effective and entirely safe in pregnancy. It sounds as though you are developing a depression in relation o and stimulated by the hormonal changes of pregnancy, so there's nothing awful about you losing your desire for the child at this particular stage --- that's the depression talking, not you yourself.
I don't agree with nor respect the wholly negative comments you report from the second shrink, which sound inaccurate and totally unhelpful. See a more helpful and less negative psychiatrist again for a fresh assessment, and advice on managing this particular bout of depression at this particular time. A baby may indeed run some risks from some meds, but also runs some risks from a severely depression and un treated mum ; also, risks cary according to the particular stage of pregnancy, so there can be reasonably safe options available.
Don't allow the Depression to seduce you into feeling guilt over natural reactions to this unpleasant illness. You are as innocent as the baby.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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