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16 Nov 2004
books on children
I was divorced when my daughter was 3 years old and married again when she was 6 years old. She is 10 now. Unfortunately she was spoiled alot and were used to it just being her and myself and she was used to sleeping with me at night. I have another child (boy) with my 2nd husband who is 2 years old. My husband is battling to cope, because she does not listen to him and she is rude to my x-husbands new wife - they also have a new baby boy who is a month old. She does not have respect for adults (she speaks to them as if they are on the same level as her - -|- y, arrogant, etc - and she will tell an adult what they must do + she will not do what you ask her, etc). My x-husband has complained that she only listens to him if he is harsh/strict with her the whole time - as soon as he is friendly she gets naughty. My husband said that he cannot play with her or do activities (like swimming, etc) with her because then she treats him like a playmate equal to her. He also does not want to take her when we go visit his family for holidays, because he feels embarressed when she acts like this. She is also bossy with her playmates. If the adults are strict with her she ignores them for weeks - won't speak to them - only to say good night, etc. She's not like this towards me, although she also wants to tell me what to do and does not listen when I ask her to clean or room or help me in ths house. When she comes to my work I feel embarressed the way she talks to adults. She is on her worst behaviour at my work and when we visit other people. So any books on this subject or books that could explain her behaviour why she is doing this and what we can do to stop this behaviour or turn it around will be very helpful. My husband does not like to send her to her room for bad behaviour - as he believes children should play outside and keep busy.
I hear about what your husband has been trying to do about her spoled bratty behaviour, but not about what you're trying to do. she is quite old enough to understand that this is intolerable and unacceptable behaviour, and that she must change it and become polite and pleasant to others, or forego pleasures she wants. O agree with the others that you'll need a whole lot more than a book as she's been learning this bad behaviour for years. Take her to see a child psychologts for a proper assessment and advice on handling her.
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