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Question

20 Mar 2003

boyfriend different race
this has been eating at me for a very long time for I have no one to talk to.
I am a white girl and about 5 years ago I had a terrible fall out with my parents. from there i left school and moved out of the house. i then met a very nice brown man whom i fell in love with. about 2 years ago we had i child together. neither of us were working and then on my childs first birthday i felt i had had enought and that i needed to make a life for my child. i needed help. so i phoned my father which is very wealthy and has his own busnisse.(my parents have been divorsed for 22 years already and just my mom excepted my boyfriend). I told my father that i had left my boyfriend and that i needed his help. he cladly welcomed me back. so me and my child moved down to him, about 400km away from my boyfriend. i am working now, supporting my child and it really feels good. now my problem is that do i let my child see his father or do i just carry on with my life. we phone each other often but my father does not know. my dad and his wife love my child dearly and i am glad to be back home. but i also know it is not fare towards his father.
Answer 299 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear dil,
See what other readers have to say on this one. It really doesn't sound as if you're being fair to your boyfriend, does it ? Would it be possible to explore with your father and his wife how they might feel about your being in contact with your bf, and to his seeing the child ? I wonder whether your bf has any financial resources, as a lack of money and advice might have left him not knowing his potential rights in this matter --- but I would think that legally he could go to a court and be awarded the right to see his child.
It's good that you can reconcile with your family, and you say that your mom accepted your bf ; but it's sad if the price for receiving care and support from your father should be an implied condition that you don't contact the child's father.
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