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27 Jan 2004

Boyfriend not proposing - I'm expecting his child!
Please help me make sense of this: I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me dearly and I adore him. I'm now expecting his child - not a planned pregnancy! We are dealing with it perfectly! (sometimes I even think that he's treating me better then some married couples treat each other).... Everybody is asking when we are going to get married: I'm now just answering things like I don't want to with a big tummy! But sometimes I do want to... maybe it's part of my pregnancy moods but I'm breaking down in tears every now and then wondering if he really loves me - like really really really and if he will stay with me forever like really really reallly... He is not talking about it much... saying things like he will need to find the perfect way to ask me! I don't want to nag him to marry me.. then I'll also won't be happy because "he only married me because I nagged him".... I'm feeling weird... our friends are getting married and we have been longer together and are expecting a child... please help me make sense of it! Thank you!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Anna,
Is there really any alternaive, but to discus this whole issue with him ? When he says he's looking for the "perfect way to ask you", just say that ANY way he asks you will be perfect. But rather than nagging, why not talk about the issue --- and ask im what he says when folks ask him when you two are geting married. There are many reasons why he might be hesitant, including shyness about issues this important, and just feeling overwhelmed by the sudden arrival of the marriage and child prospect, while he may have had other plans for the two of you. But only he can tell you.
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