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01 Mar 2004

Breaking up with the man i love
I have been dating this man for about 2 years now.We have been through some very rough patches together.He was not working and had no source of income whatsoever for the past year and i was there to meet his every need the best way i could.I don't earn much(R3500) but i made my money stretch to accomodate him.Most of my salary went to him because i still live at my mothers house.I deprived myself of any luxuries as long as i had transport money to get to work.Recently he has started getting alot of money and has totally changed towards me.I was 4 months pregnant when he started getting money and he immediately told me to have an abortion.When i did have the abortion,he was supposed to pick me up from the clinic because i too weak and when i called him he just said hes busy after promising that he would come.I had to catch a taxi back home in a very bad condition.He didn't phone to find out what happened or how i was feeling until 2 days had passed.When i asked him why he could n't phone earlier he said he thought i would be too weak to talk.I tried to tell him that i feel he doesn't care for me but he just told me to stop looking for trouble.I was so hurt by his attitude that i told him that i don't think our relationship will work out and if this is the person that he is then he is not the man i want.He said nothing until i said goodbye and he hung up.I haven't heard from him since 2 days now.I am so hurt because i love him and i believe he loves me too but i don't know how to get through to him.Its like everything i do is wrong in his eyes but he still says he loves me.I really wanted to have his baby but just because i love him and he didn't want it i went ahead with the abortion.I miss him but i know i don't want to be with a man who will not care how i feel.Did i do the right thing??? Please help.I can hardly sleep at night.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Me,
Almost anyone can manage to seem nice, when it suits them, and profits them. It sounds like this guy is a heel who has been using you. It is events like your recent experiences which acually reveal him for the man he is ---,uncaring ( except for himself) and insensitive. You are surely very well rid of him. You deserve much, much more than he could ever give, and you will find it, and find it faster if you can let go of this loser and user, and look after yourself.
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