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Question

19 Oct 2009

Broken heart
I' ve got a problem with my fiance'  always when we have a argument he goes to a certain neighbours in our street and discuss me with them. Earlier this year i noticed that this neighbour is not greeting me...oneday i told my fiance'  about this guy as our neighbour not greeting me...i also told him i think it' s cause he is always complaining about me to them.....

Last week Friday the same neighbour came visit my fiance' ....he started critizing me about me not cooking in our house, me not being a real wife and happy to have a husband like my fiance' ....and told me afterwards that i should respect my husband' ...lastly end up satying i should stop buying clothes.

So i was just thinking since he is not always visiting us my fiance'  has probably told him all this about not cooking in the house etc.... i am so dissapointed in him...i really felt so bad thinking how can you live with someone and he goes around to the neighbours and disscusses you....something i never did and never will do and yet he is much older than me....he is 48years and i am 35years...i mean he is matured enough to solve his own problems..or if he can' t solve it there is councellors he can
speak to that won' t come to our house critizing me.

I don' t know am i overreacting but i' m really feeling destroyed since i' m also a major depression sufferer..and it is really not easy dealing with issues like this.
Answer 404 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

He's foolish not to realize that discussing a lover's quarrel with anyone else is never wise - maybe he feels out of his depth and unable to handle your arguments ?
It's absolutely outrageous for any neighbour to have the cheek to tell you what you should or should not do within your relationship.
I think you should tell your fiancee that these discussions behind your back are unacceptable, and for him to tolerate the neighbour scolding you is also unacceptable. And suggest that if he wants this relationship to continue, he should join you in proper relationship . couples counselling, to sort out the problems you both have at present
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