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12 Jan 2005

Brother using dagga
Hi Doc and fellow readers

I am a regular reader of this forum, but today I need some advice. My brother (19) is currently staying with me and I have this suspicion that he is using dagga. He will stay out late at night and then get back looking totally confused and disorientated. He was out last night again and when my husband gave him the key for our security gate he could not even open it. He is also not very neat or hygienic on himself. Since childhood he has been a very quite person and always keeping to himself. At a stage he just disappeared from home and we could not find him for days.
He also doen not have a very good relationship with my dad, they do not have that father & son relationship. To top this he was in a bad car accident a few months ago and lost his one ear in the process. I know ignoring this will just make matters worse. I feel that he really needs some help before the situation becomes worse. Do I confront him about the dagga ? This situation is really causing stress in my household, and I really do not know what to do.

Thanks
Worried Sister
Answer 440 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I can understand why you'd feel worried. And maybe it's dagga use, maybe he's taking something stronger and more twisting than dagga. Sometimes people suffering from trauma reactions to something like such a car crash ( and there could have been mild brain damage, too ) can seek drugs to try to reduce their symptoms, and can also be more vulnerable to their effects. Confrontation is often unhelpful. Couldn't you talk more quietly with him, about how you feel worried about his situation,because you care about him, and that you worry also about how the accident may have affected him, and suggest he see a shrink for an assessment ?
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