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13 Jul 2005

Brothers girlfriend pregnant
I am in such a state. I have been married for 7 months. My brother is 2 years younger than I am and has being going out with a girl for 4 years now and I got the news yesterday that his girlfriend is 5 weeks pregnant. I was/am devistated!!!!!!!! I can't stop crying! I feel betrayed, as the oldest I feel it is/was my priviledge to give my parents their 1st grandchild. But most of all I feel so sorry for my parents, they have taken her into their home when here parents moved to PE and this is how she repays them, I know it takes two to tango, but man, she was on the injection, not even on the pill!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to see her or talk to her!!!!!!!! But I don't want to loose my brother because of her.............. I need some help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Answer 380 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dearie me, Milla, it is hard to understand who you should be crying so hard. I have never heard of any such expectation or tradition ( that the oldest child MUST provide the first grandchild --- and at least you would be providing them with the first planned, wanted, and legitimate grandchild ! And as Paul wisely says, just because you have decided not to have children yet ( which may be very wise ) does that mean nobody esle is allowed to have children ?
If this woman is busily having children with all sorts of diferent men without marrying them, then maybe your parents weren't wise to take her into their home in the first place. It really doesn't sound as though "my life is sooooooooo sweet!!!!!!!!!! "
And for peters sake, stop all that RUBBISH about "who are you to judge --- post anything on a public forum and you will ALWAYS be open to being judged by others ; live life, and you will be judged too, though people probably won't tell you the results of your judgement. ANYONE on the forum is entitled to react as normal people do to stories, and NOBODY is entitled to insist that people must only respond in the way they want them to. This question, for instance, shows a deep sense of selfishness and an absurd desire to control the freedom of other people --- are we supposed to ignore that just because she might not like the idea that his is true of what she said ? NOBODY was particularly rude to her, though many were not specially sympathetic.
Milla is describing a peculiar, individual, highly unrealistic expectation, especially because of the limits she seeks to place on other people's freedoms --- we don't have to respect that, and she does need to know how odd it is.
And readers ARE NOT here only to be sympathetic and supportive. IF someone writes in to say they cant to hurt someone else, or to do something illegal, for instance, are we to be forced to be sympathetic and supportive ?
We don't need to be nasty, but we may really need to call a spade a spade, and not a lovely iddle liddle digging implement.
We are not here to tell people only what they want to hear, and it is very rarely useful to do so.
Hound Boy's so right ! Footballers Wives strikes again !
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