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16 Dec 2004

Can't Decide
Hey Doc

I would like to thank you for being there for people even on a public holiday, and also for helping me out, about 3 years ago, when I had some anger and resentment issues to deal with. Thankfully, I am over those, but I am experiencing a rather deep depression at the moment. I can't decide whether it is due to a particular cause, there may be several factors.

Firstly I am aware that at 41 I am perimenopausal. Also we have moved to a VERY VERY isolated area, where facilites are lacking, even shopping for basic foodstuffs is limited. There is only 1 GP, and I think the nearest Psychologist is about 300kms away. My husband is going through a difficult time healthwise, and while I am supportive and understanding of his problems, he has withdrawn from me, and does not give much in return. All decisions and responsibllities have been left to me. I feel very alone, with a big weight of sadness that seems to hold me down. The only person I have to talk to everyday is my son, who is great and a wonderful person, but he has his own life, and I don't want to complain about my problems all the time, as I feel I must try and sort them out on my own.

I do try and keep busy, though there is nothing here in this town outside of our home to get involved in. I am an artist and I am painting at the moment, which helps but the feelng of achievement doesn't last.

Nothing seems to excite me anymore, I am not even looking forward to the small break in Cape Town we are taking next week. Do you think it is a hormonal problem, or could it be related to the other issues mentioned? I would really appreciate your opinion, it really is kind of you to make the effort to help people, on your time off. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Warmest wishes

Answer 401 views

01 Jan 0001

Hi Caezee.
Sorry for the delay in responding --- as you noticed, I WAS online yesterday to check messages, but obviously left before your late posting, especially as there was an electrical storm around, and I've no wish to fry my modem !
Pleased to hear that you generally sorted out the matters that were troubling you earlier ; sorry to ehar there are some fresh problems. Depressions are often over-determined, in other words, they often have more than one cause, even several causes any one of which could have been sufficient. A major factor sounds like a general withdrawl of your usual supports, due to circumstances --- your husband, concerned with his own health problems, being less available and les supportive, and your move having removed you, presumably, from family and friends and other local supports you were used to, and not easily replaced in a more remote location. Couple with some additiobnal responsibilities.
Check with your son about how he feels about your discussing your problems with him --- if it's not excessive, he may not mind providing such support, so don't feel bothered on his behalf ! Good that your art IS something you can practise solitarily, but maybe lacking the early support and encouragement you were used to previously ?
A GP could do an assessment to see if a Depression might be creeping up on you, and if so, it could respond usefully to antidepressants. Explore online communities to make contacts in your areas of interest. And check out what there might be in your new community, church, school, clubs & societies, charities, whatever.
You'll probably enjoy the CT break more than you're expecting to do. Let us know how it goes
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