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24 Jul 2006

CAN'T F'ing BELIEVE THIS!!!!
I apologize in advance for my words/reactions/anything in this post but I'm so upset now I don't even know how to put it in words!!! URRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I probably have the worst (future) mother-in-law on this f'ing planet!! she's making my live miserable and her son and I aren't even married yet!! I don't know if I can stand this anymore. I stand up to her, I do everything in my might to stay in control but she's such a manipulating bi tch that no one has a f’ing chance against her! I’ve tried to be nice and understanding with her, I’ve tried being mean, I’ve tried everything but the two of us just can’t see eye to eye.

My bf and I have been dating for over 3 years now and his mom has just gotten worse over time. My bf doesn’t take her side but he’s not really doing anything about it either. He just tries to keep the peace and tells me to ignore it. Well I can’t ignore it!!!! I’m an emotional wreck after even an hour spent with her! I don’t visit them anymore but she manages to get around that because she phones me regularly to give me crap. If I don’t answer the phone she just keeps on dialing.

Anyway I can’t go into history now but she just phoned, she and my bf’s father (their currently getting a divorce – which is also extremely messy) are coming to stay over at my house on Friday – yes you heard correctly, both of them. This makes it even worse. His dad is fine but together with his mom – well you listen to their fights the whole time and then his mom directs it to me. Anyway We just had a 2 hour conversation where I thought I made it perfectly clear they are NOT welcome in my house!!! My bf and I already have plans for that night and have been looking forward to it for a long time (outing with all our friends – which is much needed at this point since both our lives are chaotic at the least now) and firstly I don’t want her to stay in my house while I’m not there and secondly even though both my bf and I am full grown adults – she doesn’t see us that way so I already see it coming: I’m going to get crap about 1. what time we’re getting back 2. that my bf is staying over (yes she STILL has a problem if my bf spends the night – hell we can’t even hold hand in front of her and she gets a fit – we’re flippen 24 years old woman!!!) anyway secondly I don’t trust her with our dog. I know sounds crazy but we have a dog and he stays inside, very very well trained but his mom hates this dog – no reason because he’s really got a great character, he doesn’t yap, bite etc. nothing. But she believes it unhygienic etc etc so I know she’ll throw him out in the cold during the night. And quite frankly I give a sh itload more for my dog than for her. Thirdly I won’t be able to drink that night because (even though I’ve never been drunk) she has a huge problem with the fact that I enjoy wine with my suppers etc. so when she evens hears about me having had a drink I get an earful – I’m going to make an alcoholic out of her son etc.

Now before you think she’s overprotective of her son – she’s not. In fact he was a surprise pregnancy and she’s said to him in this last year – more than once – it’s HIS fault she had a horrible marriage because if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t have been with his father anymore – can you believe that?! Her big issue is because her life is miserable – by her own default she tries and makes everybody else miserable and because her relationship failed she believes my bf and I am going to end up like they did. She continuously compare my bf with his father.

And I must admit – coming from a GREAT GREAT very open, well developed communications system family I AM getting intimidated – I DON’T want to end up like that. It is causing problems between my bf and I and I HATE it, I don’t want to loose him because of another person but I also don’t know if I can handle this woman anymore!!

It’s going to be a nightmare on Friday again – she’s going to expect me to have supper ready for them even though we’ll won’t be there, she’s going to criticize everything in my house – and quite frankly I don’t even have time this week to polish my whole f’ing house. I’m so tired of this. I mean I’m actually a very calm fun-loving person and she turns me into this swearing, uncontrollable maniac!!! I HAVE stood up to her it’s always backfired. I’m used to having proper ADULT conversations but this woman refuses to see reality, she still believes I’m 2 years old! I’m not used to that because my relationships with my parents are so well! My parents really know everything about me, I love visiting them and won’t trade them for the world and on the other side I’ve got this witch.

Please help me! What should I do? Can my bf and my relationship last with this woman? Am I overreacting? I mean I won’t even consider saying no if my parents wanted to come and stay over? What do I do on Friday? I’m really thinking of locking up my room (she searches my things), leaving my house in a mess and not making any arrangements for food or anything else for them – maybe even clear out my house of toilet paper. Ugh! Sorry I’m just so fed up with this woman!!!!!!!!!!!
Answer 465 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear F-U,
Maybe if you and your bf would have some sessions of relationship counselling, you could figure out a joint policy to control this woman's inteference and unpleasantness ?Meanwhile, if you can't keep her out of the house ( does she have a door key ?) then by all means lock your room --- she has no business in there. Why make any arrangements for food for her ? She can bring sandwiches.
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