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Question

25 Jul 2005

Can't go on like this!
I don't know whether i'm obssed or not. My ex and me are still friends and funny enough i'm still inlove with this guy, the only thing that's worrying me whether he feels the same. Another thing is that he is "black" and i'm "coloured" at some stage i thought that b'cos of that our relationship did'nt worked out and with his culture they are allowed to have more than one girlfriend or wife. Hope u have advice what i should do.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Men generally do seem to be better able to leave a relatonship behind them and to move on ; many women seem to retain a feeling of "love" for their ex, in ways that are often not useful to them. Culture influences all of us, but doesn't force us to do anything we don't want to do. You will need to talk calmly with him to discover how he feels about you and about any possible future relationship with you.
And as Dee usefully points out, there's a difference between traditional forms of polygamy, with actual marriage to more than one woman ; and promiscuity, which is not a tradition honoured by any culture I know of.
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