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17 Feb 2004

Can't move on.
I'm having difficulty getting over my ex. We had a great relationship but he had to leave for Joberg because he found a job there. He left this year and when I went to visit him he told me he felt he wouldn't be able to be faithful to me so we should rather break up to prevent him from hurting me. I appreciated his honesty but I'm finding it hard to move on because of how great the relationship was and the fact that he said he still loves me and if possible he'd like to pursue the relationship in the future. I told him it would be unfair of him to expect me to wait around for him but I'm now finding myself doing just that. We shared a lot in our time together, things that we both had never told anyone else so we both decided we'd be friends because cutting all ties would be unbearable but I'm finding it difficult to be his friend because I love him so much. How do I move on?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear jam,
I can't always accept the invitation to revisit the old and very important issue of "how do I move on?", as I've had to do so so very often in this Forum that it's too hard to think of anything fresh to say, and I don't want to just repeat myself --- I'm confident that our regular readers can contribute well here.
It sounds as if this was a loving relationship, in which there are realistic external reasons why it isn't practical to proceed with it now ; and that he is being realistic and perhaps rather fatalistic about this, and you are being more reluctant to accept the situation as it seems to be. At least you have learned useful things about love, and about what you want in a relatonship, which you can apply to the task of moving on to find a similar but unique in its own way, fresh relationship ?
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