Ask an expert
Question

06 Jul 2005

Cannot understand him anymore
Hi All
I'm married to him for nearly 4 years now. Our problem is we do not see things in the same way in our marriage. let me get to the story. Its been like 3months now where he just went silent and cold towards me he is not talking to me or discuss things that concerns the house , but the only time he will talk to me is when he needs to be helped financially, and everytime when I asked him what is the problem why is he not communicating with me at all, his answer is there is nothing wrong,last night I asked him again what is the problem cause they way he sleeps these day he sleeps right at end of the bed there is no intimace nor even a kiss to say good night, we had a huge argurment telling me that he doing this because I do not respect him I sat thing things that I'm not suppose to say to. when I asked him what I those things its like asking him when he leaves the house round about 8pm to go a visit friends or come back home in early hours of the morning I'm not suppose to ask him where he comes from or where is he going at that time of the night. He phone is always off at night due to calls he receives in the night and the messages he get during the night and ladies who calls him at night, there was a time where I was compered with his ladies how good she respects him and I'm not. In house we stay with the aunty that raised him when he was young. I feel ilke she always feels happy with what ever he's doing cause I believe you staying with one of the parents if you get to a fight she should stand up and talk to us a her kids but she always takes a side in everything he's doing.So last night his final words was he will never sleep with because I do not respect him and his aunty if I want to be his wife I should go out and see how the other ladies treat their husband out there where by on his side he doesn't even know how to treat me even if I do help him financially he has no thank you in what ever you do in the house he alwalways calls me names how useless I am , he hardly takes his responsibility torwards his child everything that's needs to been for a child I must help.

so sorry to be so long I just needed to get it out of my chest I just feel my husband is using me for his own needs.
Answer 404 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Funny how often a man complains that you don't show respect towards him ( which may of course be true ) --- but he seldom recognizes that he may be showing even less respect for you. Sounds like he has a major guilty conscience, and could well be two-timing you with the other women who call him . If he thinks you should look at how other women treat their husbands, has he ever bothered to look at how a real man treats his wife ? Yes, he's using you. and it doesn't sound as if he 'd be interested in any sincere attempt at marriage counselling, Maybe it's time for you to consult a good lawyer
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.