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06 Apr 2006

Cant say his name
hi there i have a problem which i really need help understanding.
For 4yrs i went out with a guy but for some reason i could never call him by his name. After a year of being together he started abusing me mentally & physically but i stayed with him (even tho i still could not say his name). This inablility to say his name was since the beginning of the relationship tho (i thought maybe it was because i felt insecure around him from the start - not confident enough to be myself? I dont know). After 6yrs i left him & have now met someone who is wonderful & am pregnant with his child. I love him but have realized i have carried this problem ofnot being able to call him by his name, over into this new relationship. I really need some advice of how to deal with this or understand why i am like this as i really want this relationship to work as i care a great deal for him. I have noticed that i can call other guys by their names (friends/colleagues/aquaintances/famiy), but as soon as I get intimately involved or close to a guy i freeze up and cant call them by their name.. PLEASE HELP ME!
Answer 396 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I don't understand why you would find it difficult to call him by his name ? But if he was abusive, you would be greatly better off without him --- why on earth would you want to spend any time at all with an abuser ? Sorry to hear that it took you so long to leave him. I think you need to see a good local counsellor to deal with this unuusual hesitation o call a nice man by his own name.
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