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Question
17 Feb 2004
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Caught out!
My gf and i have been dating for almost 2years. We had issues but not that we wanted to break up. But on valentines day i found out that she had something going on with another guy. We had a huge argument and then she told me its because im boring in and outside the bedroom. I tried everything i could to keep her happy in the time we were together and she told me sex was great. So i dont understand what changed. I spoke to the other guy and he told me she didnt even tell him she had someone. And then she wanted to break up. We had a chat and she promised me she wont do it again but i just cant get to trust her. The things she said didnt make sense! Must i carry on with this relationship or move on? I really love her but she dont love me anymore! Its difficult for me to see her with someone else! I PLEASE need advice!
CyberShrink
Dear Sad,
It sounds as if there's more to be mistrustful about that her brief afair with this other guy, who she seems to have short-changed, too. What's more worrying for a good long-term relationship, is that she either lied to you about her relationship with you, or at least was highly misleading about it. If anything, in or out of the bedroom, was boring for her, she ignored the fact that (a) there was a great deal positive that she could have done about that on her own initiative, and (b) that there was nothing you could do if she failed to inform you of how she was feeling. And of course remember that the mere fact that she said things had been boring for her, does not mean either than she was actually bored, or that you were or are boring --- she needed some sort of an excuse for her own misconduct, and apparently that was all she could think of.
It sounds as if you have a great and excellent capaciy for love, but I'm not sure whether she does. I suspect you deserve, and could do, much better. Why not move on ?
It sounds as if there's more to be mistrustful about that her brief afair with this other guy, who she seems to have short-changed, too. What's more worrying for a good long-term relationship, is that she either lied to you about her relationship with you, or at least was highly misleading about it. If anything, in or out of the bedroom, was boring for her, she ignored the fact that (a) there was a great deal positive that she could have done about that on her own initiative, and (b) that there was nothing you could do if she failed to inform you of how she was feeling. And of course remember that the mere fact that she said things had been boring for her, does not mean either than she was actually bored, or that you were or are boring --- she needed some sort of an excuse for her own misconduct, and apparently that was all she could think of.
It sounds as if you have a great and excellent capaciy for love, but I'm not sure whether she does. I suspect you deserve, and could do, much better. Why not move on ?
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