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11 Aug 2008

child masturbation
Hi

I did try and read up about my question, but did really have any luck.

Last night, just after putting my 4yr old daughter to bed, i found her moving up and down on her soft toy. When i asked her what she was doing, i could see she was a bit embaressed, and she asked me what i was doing in her room! She then told me it " felt nice" .

I was a bit shocked, but have since read that this is " normal" , and not wrong, as kids explore thir bodies. I am not sure if i must leave it, or say something if i find her doing this again. It is just a bit disturbing for me, as she is still so small. I dont want to say the wrong thing, and make a issue out of it.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its extremely normal and healthy, and I'd be more worried about a kid who never did thuis, rather than worrying about one who did. But so long as a child understands, as your daughter seems to, that this is a private and not public behaviour, this is fine. Good for her for asking what you were doing in her room ( what WERE you doing there, by the way ? ) and implicitly underlining her right to appropriate privacy. Do leave it alone, and don't try to find her doing it.
Its about discovering some of the things that feel good ( like enjoying a warm bath ) and not explicitly sexual. One does not want to unduly sexualise it nor to teach her inappropriate guilt and worry
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