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07 Aug 2007

choices,choices
I met a guy who has two kids with two different women. The word around is he is a playa of note. We work for the same company. He claims he has made his mistakes and has learned from them and will not stay for the sake of the kids while him and the mother of the baby are not getting along.... This guy calls regularly, sends me sms at night to say sweet nothing... he is very sweet and offers to take me out to the movies, dinner, etc... He also wants me to meet his kids....

Then I met another guy who claims has been to hell and back with woman he has been so hurt he is unable to commit to anything. He hardly ever calls me and he hardly ever say nice things. I get to see him once a week or twice if am lucky. He never says where he is going even it will be for days. When I send him a message to say good night or good morning he never replies, when I ask him he says, well I was not asking him a question hence he did not reply. The last sms I sent to him I asked him if he misses me. He replied by saying probably in his next life time he will miss me. Then 2 min later he sends another message to say he was joking

Ok...what do I want to know....am I in two bad relationships or can one of this guys be really interested in having something meaningful with me. I have not slept or kissed any of these guys. Or should I continue seeing both until am able to make a decision. Am I being greedy or selfish? I would really like to be in a meaningful relationship.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

With a history such as he has ( and history is always a better predictor of future bahaviour than promises are ), would you really be eager to believe man 1 ? Isn't he treating you now, like he treated the two women who are now left with his children, when he first met them ? How will he treat you when you have had his next child ?
Man 2 is understandably reluctant to commit, and expecting him to commit in the short-term is folly. Man 1 hasn't had a meaningful relationship yet, and has demonstrated his failure to commit even after promising to do so ; man 2, is scared to commit. Are these 2 the only possibilities within your universe ? Like Johm, I suggest number 8
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