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17 Nov 2004

Cold as ice
OK, this is what my problem is. My wife, 31, (10 years married) is acting very cold towards me, no love or affection and sex is nonexistent, but there are certain things that bothers me that she does that really troubles me. If I confront her, she gets angry and says I don't trust her, so how do I know what's going on in her head, am I to blind to see the truth or is it normal behavior for some woman or am I just over-reacting? Lately she has been doing certain things like:

Buying and wearing revealing and tight clothes
Buying sexy underclothes
Trimming her pubic area very short, which she never did before
Buying expensive creams for cellulite which she uses every night
Obsessed about her weight and exercises almost every night

Now why does a women do all these stuff to be sexy, but is as cold as ice?!
Answer 438 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, Duke it does sound a little confusing, like a mixed message. What she's doing sounds so much like a woman who is really trying to attract a man's sexual interest and attention, presumably yours --- yet you say that she's acting cold towards you. And when, instead of explaining, someone gets excessively angry, defensive, and accuses you of not trusting them, this often means that they actually do have something to defend, and that they know you have reasons not to trust them. Sould she perhaps be having an affair with someone else ? Or, as Kay says, maybe planning one ?
Take Chelle's point seriously, but I have never heard of a woman trimming her pubic hair just to make herself feel confident, and not for someone else to appreciate. And if she has indeed done this before, the chances are greater that it is happening again.
Carol --- surely the person who has the absolute duty to communicate honestly and not avoid it, is the wife, in a situation like this ? She's done it before, and is behaving exactly as if she is doing it aain, and refusing to discuss it ---- if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, maybe it's time to buy duck-food ?
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