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19 Apr 2006

Concerned
Morning CS,

We've had a fabulous holiday, lots of rain the first few days, then cleared up over the easter weekend. Froggies, spiders and the rest of those lekker thingies, though I don't want braaivleis for at least the next six months.

I am concerned though about my son's behaviour as he is only eight years old. As we were driving back on Monday (we went with two vehicles - Hubby and daughter, me and my son) I could see that he was a bit down in the dumps and deduced from our conversation that it was because of the fact that the holiday was over and school was starting tomorrow (yesterday) etc.

He was playing with a broken washing peg in the car simulating one of his toy cars. The next moment he was quiet and well the road was long and both of us were pretty deep in thought. My eye then caught him trying to press the sharp edge of the peg through his wrist.

Very calmy I asked him why he is doing it, he said because he wanted to. I then asked him if it relieves his miserable feelings of school starting and holidays being over and he said yes.

BIG RED LIGHTS flashing - my son is portraying my behaviour. In the true sense his personality matches mine exactly.
He never ever ever ever saw me cutting myself - he doesn't even know that I do it.

Do I need to be overly concerned, I'm too scared that I will approach it in the wrong way and do more harm.

What am I to do?

LS
Answer 374 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello Lonestar !
How nice to hear from you again, and with your good news. Pleased to hear that your well-deserved holiday was so refreshing, for you, your family, and the froggies !
Now the issue of your son and the peg. A very, very interesting observation, whose significance is hard to evaluate on its own. No, you don't want to be overly concerned, but maybe a bit more vigilant and watchful now, to see how he handles other situations of disappointment and sadness, to see if there are other similar examples. Based on your own experiences, you may have been slightly suggesting and creating the answer you expected, and the action may not have had all the significance you saw in it. Should he show other signs of similar responses and troubles, then there'd be no harm in him seeling a child psychologist for further assessment. But this is probably not sinister

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