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25 Jul 2006

Concerned
Im engaged to this wonderful man whom sometimes I feel the load is just too much for me to handle. I have 2 lovely boys from my previous past relationships. The 1st one doesnt get any form of finance from the father since he passed away and the 2nd one his father contributes towards his well being. From my current relationship we go 50/50 towards the household but I feel I contribute too much cause I have to take care of my kids all by myself. Sometimes I do ask myself why Im I going ahead with this marriage whereas he doesnt provide any form of support for me and my kids. I understand its not his but at the same time he decided to marry me knowing that I have 2 kids and still I feel Im struggling a lot esp now that I know I have to cater for him as well.
I honestly think with my salary we can make a better living without him cause he's forever out of money. What advice can you give to me. I dont want us to fight over money but really what's the point of marrying someone who cant even maintain himself.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I don't quite understand what you're saying here. In this relationship you share the household expenses fairly. But you feel he should pay towards the maintenance of your kids by other men ? It's be nice if he did, but many men would not always see that as their duty. But if he marries you, then they become his kids too, and the pair of you will need to share the costs and the chores, of caring for them. IF he marries a woman with two kids, that becomes part of the package deal. Why is he "foprever out of money" ? because he earns too little or because he spends too much ? Could he reasonable earn more but doesn't bother to do so ?
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