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21 Oct 2009

Dear Cybershrink

My ex husband and i got divorced 5 years ago i have full custody of the children who have been living with me since the divorce, he sees them normally over the holidays as he lives in JHB. Other than that he makes no effort to attend parent evenings, sports days and important functions that mean a lot to the kids.

He wanted my children (aged 7 and 9) to go for a phsychological assessment at the beginning of the year which i did - no problems were found. My son has since been for academic assessments, changed schools (now in a remedial school) and has started ritalin. My ex now without a valid reason wants the children to go for a long drawn out over a few weeks phsycological evaluation. I am worried that this will be too much for my son - when i told him his dad wants him and his sister to go for another assessment he was very worried and asked if there was something wrong with him. How do i go about this? ? I feel that my paramount concern is for the best interests of the children and do not feel that they need further assessment at this stage?
Answer 441 views

01 Jan 0001

It's very understandable that the kids, having already been fully assessed, are woried about the prospect of a new assessment. I wonder whether you should check with your lawyer about the terms of the custody agreement, as it would seem to me there is no indication whatever for a fresh assessment, especially at the instigation of a father who does not spend much time with the kids and their schooling.
He would need ton have very strong and convincing grounds to try to insist on a further assessment when this has already been done, and there seems no reason to expect any benefit to the kids
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