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12 Feb 2004

Concerned about baby bonding with caregiver
Hi. I know this may sound silly and I am probably worrying about nothing, but please help. I am 5 months pregnant now, and my mother-in-law has requested if she may look after the baby once I return to work. After careful consideration, I agreed as I know the baby will be safe and well-looked after in her care. However, I am now very concerned that my baby will bond with her more than with me. What if this baby prefers to be with my mother-in-law and I end up fighting for attention? I am planning to send the baby to creche when she is about 2 years old, and I already know my mother-in-law will have an issue with that, but I will deal with that bridge when I cross it. I am just afraid now that my baby is going to think of her as her mother more than me? Am I being totally stupid?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear C,
Relax. Kids have a built-in capacity to bond with well more than one person, and wilol bond with both of you. I understand your feelings of concern --- but the average dad, though he loves the kids, doesn't worry that they will bond with mom and not with him. The kids can soon appreciate the differing roles each of you play in their lives, and love you all. Kids bond with the lady in charge of the creche --- but not at the expense of their primary relationship with their mother. You'll be fine.
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