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Question

16 Feb 2004

confused
Hi, I recently got involved with someone. we kissed so passionately. At some stage i asked him why are we kissing because he never proposed to me. he told me that he likes me and we will talk about it.recently he told me that he was involved with someone for 6 years and realised very late that the person did not love him and they broke up last year January.he told m about the things he did for her. he no longer have trust in women because he was badly hurt. he told me that sometimes he hurts me without even realising that he is hurting me.he says he needs me in his life but he does not show it.he said he nedds a shoulder to cry on from me.am i wasting my time or what?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear kbee,
Juzlisen has it just right. Someone who has been badly hurt in a previous relationship can behave rather like you describe, and it's fine for you to be a Friend to them )(hough that shouldn't need to involve quite so much kissing !) ; and to be someone they can talk to and feel safe with. But distinguish between a mutually supportive friendship ( he ought also to be concerned about your feelings and problems ) ; and an emotional and sexual relationship --- he doesn't sound ready for the latter.
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