Ask an expert
Question

11 Aug 2011

confused
I have been dating the father of my child for 9 yrs and out of the 9yrs i would say I have been happy for only the first 2 years of our relationship.He cheated on me several times, spending more time with friends and less time with me and our daughter.

For the past 3 months he changed a lot, he''s been a good father and a lover to me but what funny is that he decided to change too late my heart has been hurt so much that I don''t love him they way I used to. I spoke to him last weekend and told him that I feel that our relationship is dead I am only in the relationship because we share a child together. I also informed him that i need a space we should break up. Now he is begging me telling me telling me how much i mean to him and that he''s been planning for us to get married next year.
Now I feel sorry for him, I am not sure if I should give him another chance or just move on with my life and start fresh.
Answer 436 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

So you know him to be a cheat, a liar, and a bad and unreliable partner to you. You say RECENTLY he has seemd a good father to the children - after all these years, why might this be ? That you allowed him back into your life ( and, from your comments, apparently back into your bed ) is hardly wise, and you need not apologise for responding normally to someone who until so recently has treated you and the child so badly. And there is absolutely no good reason for you to feel sorry for him, as his situation is exactly as he created it.
Why on earth would he suddenly recide, 9 YEARS LATER that he actually loves you and wants to get married ? Has someone else suddenly deserted him ? Dooes he want your financial support ?
YOu are absolutely right to be suspicious and cautious. Have you discussed this with family and friends ?
Overall, I see no reason at all for you to give him "another chance" - 9 years represented an awful lot of chances ! Move on, and protect yourself and your child
He made this bed for himself ( not yours ! ) and should lie on it alone
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9362 votes
No
67% - 19306 votes
Vote