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16 Aug 2010

Confused about marriage
Good day!
I’ m 29 years old and I’ m engage for 7 years now! We’ re in a relationship for 10 years. We had a wedding date settled 3 years ago, but we never got married because he got cold feet! We broke up and we managed to get back together again. At first things were fine, but as time goes by, I can’ t help myself to think about all that has happened, the way he just ended it without no reasonable reason at all. I thought I put it behind me but it’ s eating me up inside! Now, I’ m planning our wedding again, ai, thought that we were ready now, but now I’ m the one with the second thoughts. I love him, and he is romantic and all, but is it enough for our marriage to last? I mean, if it starts like this, how will it end! I know I mustn’ t be so negative. At this stage I’ m so unhappy, I think I’ m depressed as well, I’ m not even happy to plan my wedding and talk about it, if my friends and family mentions something about the wedding I just wants to cry and scream! How do I handle this, how do I do what is best for us both, and then the humiliation to cancel everything again! And I know if we cancel the wedding again we would go our separate ways! And in the other hand, I’ m so scared I lose him and later found out that he was actually the one for me....
Thanks
Answer 415 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Most of this may not be about you at all, however much it may feel that way - he just does no sound marriageable at present, for whatever reason. See a good GP to check on whether you are currently depressed, and get that treated properly, with meds and counselling if possible. NEVER make any serious decision while depressed, except the decision to get assessed and to get proper help for it.
And NEVER marry someone just to avoid embarrassment. If he was genuinely "the one for me " ( and that thought includes the delusion that there is never ever more than one person on earth "for you" - that's no so ) you and he would both know it and would have been hapilly marrried for some time already
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