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01 Apr 2006

Control.
I just got it. Clear as daylight. There's a reason I leant to love 'driving' my car so. It's the way. And it comes out now (in full person) when I smoke. It used to be subtle. Just making me feel like someone got inside me and wants to move my body for me. I once went along with this and it had surprising results! I was walked up to the window, I looked outside, saw nothing unfimiliar. Was turned around 180 degrees, and almost imidiately back again. And there sat this HUGE -|- ing bird on the washing line, just staring at me! I had a huge fright but then just started laughing. It was bizarre. It took hold, but couldn't take control unless I decided it to. Now, it came in and it showed me for the first time its sheer power over me. I was driving along and suddenly it was there. Basically saying its in control. On its side, I was givin the opportunity to keep one half. -|- ing took it! But when it is in control, I have absolutely no power. All I can do is observe. Its final purpose is to kill. Not only me, but even others. And I gave it access (the pot) and the means (driving/car). I had these vivid urges to go to the other side of the hiway, put on my brights and go for it. As fast as I can. This is fear people. You don't know fear.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Tell your doctor about this, promptly.It is really with him that you need to be comunicating, as he is in a position to help you in ways that we cannot. NOTHING else needs to be in control of you, so long as you don't let it take control. It is up to you. It doesn't sound at all as if teh pot is doing you any good, so try stopping it --- and discuss this efect with your doc. You know you must not harm yourself, let alone any others. Do NOT give this impulse either the acces via the pot, or the means ( the car ). Do not do it. Do not go along with the destructive mood.
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