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02 Feb 2009

could i be the problem in my marriage
hi Doc
i am with hubby for 11 years married for 3 years- have a 2 year old- i am overall happy but i am somehow unhappy. we have our arguments as normal couples but i tend to take it too far. i say alot of hurtful things to my husband that leave me feeling very bad later on. My issues are that i am unhappy in my current job and i earn a shit salary- i cannot make it through the month with my salary and find myself leaning on my husband and that makes me angry- more self pride. Hubby has a good job- earns good money and it a great person but i seem to have the issue here- i feel intimidated, insecure, not good enough- i am unable to provide for my 2 year old as much as he does and i cannot even take proper care of myself financially- this is bugging me badly cause when we argue i pick on him and his job and his money etc etc but those are the things i am feeling. i know i am hurting my husband but i just cannot seem to help myself or control the outburst- i feel i work hard, at work come home and do the same and i get tired sometimes and frustrated. not sure what to do- i have been looking for a better job for a better salary but nothing is happening- its hard to stay positive when your life feels stagnent and there' s nothing worse than feeling like a nobody- if we decide to go our seperate ways i will not make it on my own financially- what can i do?
Answer 421 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sometimes when one is very unhappy in a job, where one can't express that, one tends to take it out on one's spouse, who doesn't deserve it, but it handy. Marriage counselling, perhaps preceded by some individual counselling for you, could be wise. Remember hat the point of a marriage is to share resources and tasks, not to be entirely independent financially, or to consider the one earning somewhat less, to be a loser --- that's just not so.
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