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06 Feb 2004

CRAZY JEALOUS
I have a problem. I have a friend (a guy). He has many girlfriends and spends the night with them often. I really don't get jealous when he is with other women as long as they are MORE then just friends, but as soon as it looks like there is only going to be a friendship I get really jealous. We are "just friends". Our friendship is special because he NEVER just has girl "friends", there is always something more so in that respect we have something special. How do I get over this jealousy? Most important, why do I feel this way?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Michelle, Let's see what our other readers have to comment, after their weekend break ! If you check out the archives of this forum, you'll find so very many discussions about jealousy. But what sounds unusual in what you say, is this. In most other complaints, the woman says she feels fine so long as her bf is only "friends" with other woman, but she resents it if he sleeps with any of them. You seem to be saying exactly the opposite --- that it's fine with you if he sleeps with them all, so long as he doesn't befriend them ! That is unusual. Presumably you consider "friendship" as far more special and rarer than sexual relations. But do you really have to see "friendship" ( and I can't help wondering what special meaning that has for you ) as something so exclusive that it someone can only sincerely be "friends" with one person at a time ? That doesn't sound like anyone else's view of friendship I've so far run across.
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