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24 Jul 2008

day one of heartbreak
hi, the man i have loved for some 6 yrs came to my place late last night and told me he is moving on to someone 12 years his junior, she is expecting and they will probably wed next year. That was that, then he was gone. I went to the bathroom and cried for 2 hours. I just want to know how to function over the next few days. I feel i' m n a haze and my blood pressure is very very high this morn. I think what makes things worse is that this is only the third reltnship I have ever dared to be in and have hopes for. The first relationship, my fiance left me for my friend of 11 yrs. I didn' t date for 5 yrs after that. Then in the 2nd rltionship I got pregnant and the child' s father left, though we' d been dating for years. I again didn' t date for a long time while i tried to sort my head and heart out. Now i have tried love for a third time and this is what happens.

there must be a way to cope. One thing i know is that I am never trying love again but my immediate problem is how do i get rid of this incredible feeling of pain and rejection. the whole left side of my body, esp around my heart, actually literally feels heavy as lead.

I know time make things beta but there must be a way to cope in these early stages, what can i do? I have an important presentation infront of the big bosses at work tomorrow and i didn' t sleep last night, am just staring into space and feel like the whole left side of my body has collapsed. I am unable to eat, it is nealry midday and i have not even had a sip of anything to drink, not even water. All i am doing is sitting at my pc breathing - and feeling this unreal pain.

what must i do?


Lisa
Answer 392 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

This must have been enormously upsetting to you. And how clumsily and cruelly he handled this situation. Seeing a counsellor would be an obvious way of getting help in coping ( and meantime, explore the Anxiety/Depression Support Groups and Lifeline ) and to go beyond coping, and to better understand jpw ypu have been so unfortunate in the relationships you have chosen, and how to avoid such situations arising again. As people say, time will heal, but you won't want to just wait for that to happen. As for things like the office presentation --- is it possible to discuss this with your boss / supervisor and possibly postpone it ?
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