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03 Aug 2007

DEATH...
Dear Doctor,
I have a problem. I left my boyfriend months ago (I sent him a message to say goodbye) and he never wrote me back. A few days ago I sent him two messages and again I haven't received an answer. I know this doens't have a meaning, but it's strange and I keep thining my ex is dead. I can't stop thinking he's dead and I'm going insane. I could call his mom but what if that is true and my call makes her suffer even more? I know I'm crazy, but now I even have nightmares. The other day I dreamt that a woman wanted to kill me and we fought until we almost died. Yesterday I dreamt that a dead girl was flying in the wind close to my windows. Everywhere I looked, she was there. I woke up and fell asleep a little later and dreamt that my father wanted to introduce me to someone's bride. When I looked at her, she had the face of a monster and I ran away like mad, although the other people couldn't see that horrible face, they saw only her real face. Why are these thoughts and dreams haunting me? What should I do? Call my ex and tell him what's going on? I hurt him so much, I don't know if I have the right to ask him for help now...
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sorry to hear of this, Pat. You're not going insane, but this situation is obviously very unpleasant for you. It's very highly unlikely that he has come to any harm, of course, and very likely that, due to the break-up, he is choosing not to contqact you or to respond to your messages. Maybe you are having second thoughts about the break-up, and concentrating excessively on him. You could call his mom (m don't give her all these details, only say that you have been thinking a lot about him and worrying about whether he is OK ) --- if he has come to any harm, it can't make her feel worse to hear from you, and it could be comforting to know that you cared enough to call. But if anything nasty had happened to him, surely some mutual friend would have told you by now.
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