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16 Jul 2008


Thanks for your prompt answer (as always!)

You got me thinking. I dont know if I really know the answer to that. Maybe the following might contribute to an answer! I had a small, non-functioning left kidney (which I guess I was born with) which was what was causing me to be sick all the time. It was not cancerous. My entire family was greatly oppossed to my surgery, especially my mom saying that it wasnt necessary and far too major surgery. I kept getting sick all the time and kept having to go to my gp time after time with unbearable kidney pain, sometimes with fever and mostly with nausea. I had to have pain-killing injections, blood tests, urine tests, antibiotics more often than not (believe me I knew straight away when those symptoms started that I had a positive kidney infection, especially with that pain - it was like someone stabbed you in the side!) and that started to distress me enormously. So when I finally saw possible light at the end of the tunnel when I went to my current urologist in Sept 2003 and he finally confirmed my need for the surgery the following year (only!) I was determined it was going to be successful and finally stop me from being sick. I guess also I wanted to prove my family wrong. Is that so bad? Should I stop being stubborn and go back to taking my maintenance and do what you said and that is "celebrate both being successful"?!
As I said, I was getting sick before the surgery, even though I was on daily maintenance. So why isnt this enough to convince me that the op played the major part in my no longer being sick?

As far as I am concerned my op was the best thing I ever did and I really want that success to stay that way. I have monthly routine tests to make sure everything is alright. My gp said he would rather I stayed on the maintenance and not get sick than take the chance of me getting an infection, I just dont want to be on it permanently.

I guess I just want to prove that I can manage without the maintenance and not get sick! For some reason, thats really important to me.

Answer 257 views

01 Jan 0001

Having experienced kidney-related pain with my renal stones, I believe nobody who hasn't themselves experienced it, comprehends what it is. Nothing wrong with wanting to prove the family wrong, especially when theyr views, hoever sincerely held, were essentially negative and unhelpful. But far better to strive to prove yourself right ! The operation HAS been successful, from your review of events, even if maintenance use of urinary antiseptics, whatever is also needed. You're still right ! The point of maintenance chemo, I'd guess, is not merely ( merely !! ?? ) to prevent the pain and suffering of further infections, but to help preserve the functioning levels of the main working kidney. ONLY if you insist on defining success of the op as " and no longer ever needing maintenance meds", could you twist things into implying that it was not a success. And though your splendid character and strong will helps all of this to work, it's not going to be enough to ensure no further infections.
Ah, Cleopatra, Queen of Denial !
So the puzzle remains why you seem to be trapped within your own definitions.
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