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12 Jul 2005

Depressed Husband - What to do??
My husband is very depressed, deep deep under in the pit. He threatens me that he is going to take his own life so he can be no burden for me anymore etc. etc. etc. Anyway, I don't know how to help him, since he refuses to go and see someone or call some one or take anti-depressants or anything. The thing is his brother passed away on the 1st of July, his funeral was on the 8th. He(Hubby) seemed o.k through all of this, stood strong. But it is as if everything is getting too much for him now. We are going through a financial crises as well and he is in dire straights on what to do. Every suggestion I have is not right and I have to listen to the old story of I am not supporting his ideas bla bla bla. I know I sound a bit don't care, but he upsets me so that I feel I don't even want to go home to go and look at his sorrow face and listen to all his abusive discussions because nothing that I do or say or don't do and don't say is right. Everything is just wrong. Unfortunately it's me that has to take the blame again...

He had a business deal that went sour and it is as if he just can't get over it, I told him that it is not nessesary to always make big money, a little will do as well, but he doesn's see it like this. I am a professional earning well and his is forever trying to make more money than I do. Ego... I have told him a zillion times it does not matter if he does not make as much money as I do, but it does not sink in. There are quite a few business oppertunities for him to explore that will bring butter to the table, but he does not even want to consider it, since there is not enough money in it. What is wrong with him?? Goodness, I started right at the bottom and worked my way up, it's like he expects to just get the money without the hard work that goes with it.

Anyway, I don't know how to help him, is there something I can put in his coffee that won't harm him that will make him feel better? I am desperate.

But worst of all, how do I make him see light at the end of the tunnel? Nothing is good enough, not even the kids?

Please help.
Answer 436 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Let him know that killingn himself would be an immense burden for you, but having him as a caring husband is not a burden, and that his condition can be transformed by proper treatment, which you want him to have. His depression is probably complicated by bereavement for his late brother.
It's neither ethical, legal, nor practical, though, to slip something into his coffee to put his depression right. he needs to take the meds willingly and personally. One is left with the only option of continuing to persistently and creatively ry to persuade him to see a shrink and take proper treatment. He has to admit that proper treatment couldn't possibly make the situation any worse, and could, if he persists for some months, make everything a great deal better
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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